


I Guess We'll Never Know

by ShootingStarsAtNight



Category: Assassination Classroom
Genre: Asano is clueless about romance, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Late Night Conversations, M/M, They're both shy with words, slight humour, the angst is light tbh, they're so cute
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-29
Updated: 2020-11-29
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:01:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,575
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27665780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShootingStarsAtNight/pseuds/ShootingStarsAtNight
Summary: "Do you know how to dance?" are the words that fall past Karma's lips. Golden eyes, cast down to his lap with an expression close to slumber.Gakushuu shrugs, and his fingers move closer to Karma's who's not so far away from where he sits, on a bench at a time of night where teenagers are supposed to find their beds.There are no eyes to judge. No voices to respond under the dull streetlights. Only them.Just them, on a bench that faces the road. A road they wished didn't lead home.
Relationships: Akabane Karma/Asano Gakushuu
Comments: 10
Kudos: 65





	I Guess We'll Never Know

"Do you know how to dance?" are the words that fall past Karma's lips. Golden eyes, cast down to his lap with an expression close to slumber. 

Gakushuu shrugs, and his fingers move closer to Karma's who's not so far away from where he sits, on a bench at a time of night where teenagers are supposed to find their beds. 

There are no eyes to judge. No voices to respond under the dull streetlights. Only them. 

Just them, on a bench that faces the road. A road they wished didn't lead home.

"What will you do with my response?" Gakushuu mumbles, and a huff leaves him on reflex.

Will you ask me to dance? Will you tell me that you can't? He wonders to himself. He wonders a lot, actually. 

He wonders how long two years will take to pass. He wonders why he finds Karma here often.

Rivals at school, but another at night. Gakushuu doesn't know what it is.

With karma, he will never know, but he wonders.

He wonders why they spend nights gazing at this road. A road they wished didn't lead home. 

Or, perhaps at the back of their heads, they know the answer but neither of them say a word of it. How do words work? 

But reflection's come to an end, because before Gakushuu blinks, he's being pulled up to his feet, amethyst eyes coming up to meet mercury orbs that seem to have lost their tired glaze only for them to shine in the street-lights. Oh how he looks like a child.

"I'll never get a straight answer out of you, now will I?" Karma smiles and places a hand on Gakushuu's hips, and out of mere habit alone, Gakushuu finds his arms around Karma's neck. Suddenly Karma's features are really near and Gakushuu is mortified that he isn't mortified.

"You know the answer to that, don't you, Akabane?" is all he says. It's all he will say. They start to sway to the silence.

Gakushuu gets a knowing laugh in return. "Fair enough." Karma says.

A 'fair enough' that says, it's not enough. It hangs in the air, only fall.

Gakushuu steps back. Karma moves forward. The wind blows in their hair, but then it dies down for a bit after. A comfortable silence between steps.

"Do you know what I think of when I think of red?" Karma whispers, and his gaze burns steadily into Gakushuu's. 

Gakushuu can't help his surprised chuckle. 

"I don't know. Strawberries?" 

Yourself? he responds, but he doesn't say it because every time he sees red, it comes with golden eyes. 

"Nope!" Karma spins him around this time.

Gakushuu decides to indulge Karma a bit more. "Romance, perhaps? Who's the lucky person?"

"That, I can't answer."

This time, Gakushuu leans in some more. "Tell me, Akabane. What does red mean to you then?"

Karma hums in response. 

The playful mood is dampened by an emotion neither of them can really understand, but who understands anything past midnight?

"Red is trust." He doesn't say anymore.

Gakushuu doesn't understand, .

"I'll remember that." He mumbles, more to himself.

They both let go of one another after that, and the road that leads home calls them back. This time, they listen.  
***

They pass each other in the bustling halls, but faith has different paths for them. They never meet eyes when others are around, and Gakushuu, wants that to change. So he mumbles a small hello as they pass. karma's eyes widen, but the force of the crowd sends him forward before he could respond. Gakushuu only moves forward, eyes never tuning back. 

It's all Gakushuu can do, if he wants his father to spare his head-  
***

"I'm home." are the words Karma mumbles when he opens the door to his own house, but only darkness, and silence greets him back. He seethes at the letter his parents left behind on the marble counter of the kitchen, but not a soul can see him glare.  
***

"Do you know how to love?" Gakushuu asks, and it appears out of thin air, so sudden and large, and unexpectedly heavy. It's like words he's been meaning to pour, but never did.

The street light flickers.

He yawns, only to sputter, face going pink when Karma bursts out into laughter. The bench vibrates a little.

"Didn't know you were so cheesy, Ace-kun." There it is, the nickname. The one he hates, but it's so Karma. He hardly minds.

"Well, neither did I, and forget I asked that. I was half asleep." He huffs, and prays that somehow his dignity is spared.

By the smug smile on Karma's face, he's failed. But then Karma's face morphs into a frown. Hardly noticeable, but there. 

"I don't think anyone knows how to truly love." Karma whispers into the night, and the words circle Gakushuu's mind like a whirlwind. Why do these words bother him so much? 

His father knows how to love him just fine. He makes him be the best for his on good. It's out of love, is it not? He's resented Asano Gakushuu for years now, but the thought of actually hating him makes him pause. Every time, it's the same. Like the hesitation before putting the last brick on a wall, painting the last part of a picture and then, breaking it all down. Destroying everything, and every opinion with nothing but a thought, a mere smudge on a white page. Pitch black, and unapologetic. Now he's just being poetic-

But still, he feels the need to counteract Karma. Perhaps out of his own selfish-ness. Perhaps because he notices the look on Karma's face. A contradiction to his own harsh words, as if he wishes for a love he can't get. A soft call for help. But it leaves as soon as it comes, just like a snowflake when it melts away on warm skin.

"But doesn't everyone want affection of some sort?" Gakushuu says and be it the post-midnight tire, or his own need to express himself, Gakushuu's saying things he never says at dawn. 

He can feel his father's hand on his shoulder. He can see his own eyes being led to a table, piled with books. More books. Books. His father never tells him the answers to anything, and he learnt that through grim stares and nonchalant glances that these sappy thoughts should mean nothing to Gakushuu. But it does mean something to him, and he feels the hand move away, and the books pile up in the back of his mind, with dust, like all the forgotten pages in a library. Only for the night, his father will not have a say in his thoughts.

"Sure, maybe. But not everyone can grant wishes." Karma responds, and Gakushuu finds himself agreeing, but he wants to be wrong for once.

***

Gakushuu hides in his room the minute the gates open. He's failed again, and he knows his father will have a way with him.  
***  
Karma sighs, resigned and flips through the contents of the letter.

***

"It'll be winter soon." says Karma.

[Dear Karma,}

(Gakushuu, meet me in my office.)

Many things could be derived from the words. Will you stay? Should we go? I want you to stay. I think you should go, but Gakushuu doesn't know which one it is. He responds, guarded.

[We hope your doing well at school.]

(Now, sit down.)

"Yeah, it will be." He ends up saying, and he watches Karma's reaction. His face appears blank, but the way he taps his fingers against the firm wood of the bench betrays his racing thoughts.

[We're not going to be home for Christmas again, and we're sorry about that.]

(Where do you expect to go with these grades? I expect to see you studying over the vacation?)

But they'll run in circles again, he supposes, never saying what they want. Only the stars to know of their wishes. Again, the words would hang, only to fall. Or at least, Gakushuu thought.

[We'll send you a gift though.]

(Do I make myself clear?)

"I'll bring hot cocoa?" Karma mumbles, voice unsure but eyes hopeful. 

[Take care of yourself.]

(Good.)

And there it is, the syllables Gakushuu didn't know he wanted to hear, but it fills his chest with warmth.

"Sure why not." He find himself saying without a beat of silence.

[yours truly]

(you can leave now,)

Gakushuu Asano knows how to dance. He doesn't know what love is, or why they sit here wishing to never go home. He doesn't know what his father depicts bringing a child up to be, nor does he himself care to know right now. He'll know, eventually.

[Mr. and Mrs. Akabane]

(Gakushuu)

But he knows red to Karma means trust, and he's inclined to resonate with it right now. Even if he has no inkling as to why Karma found the need to tell him all those nights ago.

"I think of red when I think of you, and not because of your hair." He blurts, but he doesn't regret it when Karma's face goes a bit rosy.

I trust you. 

[The letters, tossed in the trash like rotten meat left alone too long.]

(Gakushuu lets out a sigh as he leaves his father's office. He clenches his fist.)

Karma shakes his head and smiles, closing his eyes. "You remembered."

If Karma thinks of red when Gakushuu comes to mind too, maybe we'll never know.

**Author's Note:**

> hewo hoomans. So I wrote this for fun, and I'm aware that it's not all that, but I hope some of yall appreciated it XD. Feel free to comment if you like. So uh... I kinda used an idea from another fanfic to do this. *shifts nervously* I don't think I pulled it off well, but I just loved the format-
> 
> I uh, feel awkward rn.
> 
> Their name is waspfactor btw  
> U SHOULD CHECK EM OUT-


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